Maybe, but it also means that you’ll be alone for eternity and will never have true friends or camaraderie, and that by itself will consume you.
There is only so many people you can do that to before everyone else catches on and shuns you. All the evil people in the world don’t have any friends and are subject to betrayals and threats in their lives constantly. To me, that’s not a bearable existence. Sure, you got power, but you’re miserable and afraid all the time. Was that really worth it?
That doesn’t seem to bother the kind of people being described
you’ll be alone for eternity and will never have true friends or camaraderie, and that by itself will consume you.
I AM a morally decent person who makes efforts to do the right thing. And that last part is STILL true!
I just don’t like most people.
Most people are selfish and amoral. When people like that encounter a decent person, they will do what they can to silence them so they aren’t given the chance to expose corruption.
You probably don’t like most people because most people are walking sacks of shit who would throw you under the bus if it means benefiting themselves
You’d be wrong. I’m sorry that you feel this way about humanity, but that is simply not true. And believing that won’t make you a “smart” person. It makes you’re no better than those people, and it also makes you feel worse.
It might be satisfying in the moment to hate humanity, but that satisfaction is fleeting and addicting. Being a misanthrope just brings the worst version of yourself out.
I want the worst version of myself out. I recently made two shitty co-workers crap themselves.
Being bad towards shitty people is a different beast from being bad towards everyone because you assume the worst out of everyone.
Righteous outrage is addicting, but it’s also extremely fucking draining. I left reddit because I’d constantly rage bait myself every day and it was destroying my relationships.
Seems condescending to assume I think that belief makes me “smart”. I’m speaking on my experience, that’s the only experience I have. I don’t appreciate you trying to make me out as some kind of angsty teen rebel.
Well, your experience isn’t universal. Most people aren’t like you described.
Maybe you need a change of environment.
Wow. You actually get me.
shifty eyes
I still don’t trust you…
There are plenty of corrupt people who are never caught, or even caught and let go with little to no consequences due to their influence and money. As much as I want to live in a world where karma exists and assholes get what they deserve, that is unfortunately not the reality we live in.
Just because we don’t see it or it doesn’t look like we think it should doesn’t mean it’s not real. Imagine being shallow and wanting to marry for how it looks on the outside. Imagine 20 -30 years later realizing you’re stuck in a companionless relationship, but refusing to end it because it makes sense on paper to keep it intact.
You can be selective with this power; works well for a lot of folks. Have a smallish in group where you’re always upstanding, enjoy all the benefits that our tribal brain craves, and also enjoy the material benefits.
Hey, you just described church!
via SMBC:
I’ve got 2 kids in primary school. We teach them to be kind and caring, that cheaters never win. That bullies are bullies because they are not happy.
However a study came out that compared bullies and non bullies. Bullies kids are more likely to be successful financially and socially based on studies. I was sad for humanity when o found out.
It makes sense, in the same way that it makes sense that CEO’s are more likely to be sociopaths. Human brains are made for small societies. When it’s a larger society, negative traits can be helpful to get ahead. It’s likely part of the reason we experience wars and famine and billionaires.
I love you put billionaires next to other disasters
In many ways billionaires are worse than the other disasters listed.
Or the other option: all kids are equally capable of being dicks to each other. It just depends who has social capital. Kids who have the traits necessary to gain social capital - intelligence, athleticism, attractiveness, confidence, etc - end up on top of the social hierarchy in school and also end up going farther in life.
Theoretically, all people are capable of being president, but I ky very few get there, irrespective of ability.
You’re right about their attributes being a guide. I reckon it’s down to the confidence, more than anything. Bullys are typically seen as acting out due to their own insecurity. However, the skills learned in putting themselves above others likely helps to achieve personal goals. It’s likely similar for attractive people and confidence. Confidence is a drug that affects other people.
The human brain really seems to be built for small communities. Once the village you live in is bigger than about 150 people, all sorts of weird things begin to happen. Some people no longer feel like they’re a part of the same group as everyone else. They begin to feel like they can get away with anything, maybe even steal something, or hurt other people. Being greedy doesn’t feel wrong any more, altruism feels like a weakness etc.
I’ve been thinking about these things, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the world we live in is not optimized for the human mind or physiology. We’ve specifically designed a world that is bad for us in a number of ways.
That is unless the bully messes with the wrong person and gets the shit beaten out of them.
And then they become adults and find different ways to mess with people, hire bodyguards, expensive lawyers, group up with other corrupt people who find joy in people suffering, shit in their diapers under their suit, etc.
I’d also want to see the same methodology when assessing being happy, have many close friends you can trust etc.
And also how they assessed “being a bully”
A system designed by psychopaths benefits psychopaths? No way…
I’ve known this for a long time but I continue to do my best to operate honorably. I may never be rich or powerful, but I sleep very well at night.
I still don’t sleep well, knowing the state of the world
Yea. Trying to be correct and do things in a respectful and good way makes me more and more bitter, resentful and judgemental.
Soon that in itself will corrupt me.
I have to manipulate and lie to myself that things will get better
The world actively rewards bad behavior. This realization was a difficult pill for me to swallow.
You’ll still be a shit person, likely with no meaningful friendships. That’s gotta factor into the equation somehow.
People with low empathy don’t see people as companions, but more as tools to benefit themselves. So they don’t really care as long as they have enough money and pawns to take care of themselves.
I’m a domestic abuse outreach worker and I see it a lot in clients. Abusers are always selfish and generally manipulative and liars. They have little or no empathy for their partner and rarely care how the partner feels. They’re often highly successful in their field, because they have such great manipulation skills.
I imagine your job is as draining as it is fulfilling
Thanks mate, you certainly have to accept the losses. I look at soft outcomes though, so making the children feel heard and like they matter. It gets me through.
You couldn’t be thanked enough for your work
I really, truly appreciate it Keanu thanks so much ❤️
Shhh…I made this elaborate fake name because I didn’t want everyone to know I’m 8 time MTV Movie & TV Awards nominee and 4 time winner Keanu Reeves
Reducing other people to mere tools is a symptom of psychopathy rather than simply low empathy. Yes, psychopaths are within the set of people with low empathy, however, shouldn’t be confused with the set itself. It’s also specifically a lack of affective (warm) empathy that’s more of the problem than a lack of empathy in general, as some psychopaths do have cognitive (cold) empathy, and so do understand others (albeit to a limited extent), however, just use it to be more exploitive rather than less. This is by contrast with autistic people who often struggle with cognitive (cold) empathy, however, not with affective (warm) empathy, i.e. they don’t know how they’ve hurt people but they know they’ve hurt people and try to avoid doing so.
Been a while since psych and I’m sure some terms I use are outdated now but the way it was explained to me was that sociopaths feel some guilt and remorse but do it anyways whereas psychopaths don’t feel any remorse at all. I think symptoms of both have been melded into ASPD in general now but the logic applies. If someone is capable of lying and manipulating without remorse (my original statement) then it would be a very low chance that they see others as equals
There is no such thing as a sociopath clinically speaking. There are primary and secondary psychopaths though, the former lacking empathy entirely and the latter having access to some empathy. They are both alloplastic (irresponsible for their actions and their consequences) and thus neither can feel guilt as guilt is associated with having responsibility. Psychopaths tend to have a generalised anxiety at their core, which they compensate for with defiance (to convince themselves and others of their power as a means to deal with the anxiety). This creates a backlash against them, which because they’re irresponsible, creates frustration, something they can’t manage well, and so direct the frustration outwards in the form of aggression.
Anxiety and shame are the emotions associated with negative (or potential) consequences while being powerless. Psychopaths are more anxious because they have an internal locus of control, whereas narcissists are more shameful because they don’t. In both cases, they seek control, albeit for different reasons.
EDIT: Psychopaths see other people as pets at best, and tools at worst. As you say, they do not perceive you as equals.
That’s more useful than you know for someone I’m currently dealing with. I consider myself patient but everyone has their limits, how do you help someone who is defiant, seek control, and clearly anxious without letting them tear your mood apart?
I know I’m supposed to understand they are acting out of confused defense but it’s truly difficult to be the caregiver to someone who is essentially throwing an illogical temper tantrum nearly 24/7?
In my experience, you try to have as little to do with them as possible. Do you have some legal obligation to be their caregiver?
I think most people will recommend setting boundaries and sticking to them, however, they are compelled to cross any lines you set.
You kind of end up setting sacrificial boundaries that they can cross, or boundaries with a buffer zone so they can cross it a little bit without going too far.
Like, if the speed limit is 50 km/h, they’re going to go 55 km/h, and that’s still a safe speed so you’re happy and they’re happy. If they go 100 km/h, well, that’s genuinely unsafe and you’re forced to intervene.
Moral obligation. Yes I am in that constant cycle of setting boundaries, having them crossed, and forgiving them because they have noone else to care for them. I don’t see giving up as an option on the matter but I know I’m sacrificing my mental health for them.
One doesn’t do the right thing to be rewarded or to ‘get ahead’. One does the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. Selfishness only leads to insecurity and loneliness.
Yep. That’s what the selfish ones have been telling us for thousands of years.
This is only true in a world that is mostly full of people with morals. A society built on lying and manipulation inevitably collapses - look at what is happening to the United States. They elected an amoral lying manipulator and in just six months their society is unraveling. They just passed a law that took money away from hungry children and sick people so that their psychopathic leader can better persecute his enemies: that is, anyone who opposes him. ICE just became the best-funded “law” enforcement agency ever created. It is obvious to everyone except a handful of naive idiots that ICE will be used against US citizens to consolidate MAGA’s power in an attempt to create a permanent regime. These states always collapse sooner or later, though, because morality is the foundation of law. No one is going to invest in a country where their assets can be seized and they can be imprisoned on the caprice of a senile madman. You can’t have trade without trust - all that is left in places like the US are predators and prey.
This unraveling has been going on a lot longer than just six months. It’s been accelerating hard since the Patriot Act after 9/11. And even before that, Republicans had been lying about their support of free markets for generations.
While feeling numb and miserable
I mean, yea, that’s how the economy is kinda designed for most of the world right now.
In the employee-employer relationship, the better you are as an employer at manipulating others into working for you while you retain ownership of the revenue, paying employees out percentage of what they generated as a wage while keeping the excess value as profit, is how you make a successful business.
The business-consumer relationship boils down to a transaction where you want to be the one who has the advantage on the transaction. Sellers want to sell their products for more than they’re worth while the consumers want to buy those products at a discount of their perceived value. The seller’s entire job is to manipulate the consumer into perceiving more value in their products than the base material value of the product to generate a revenue that exceeds the cost of its production to generate profit. That’s like the basis of advertising and marketing.
Learning this from my (soon-to-be-ex-) wife right now…
We create a world of kindness or selfishness, judgement or forgiveness every day. These behaviors may get you money or power, but the world you have to live in gets worse. I don’t think you realize how much you lose getting ahead, and how much you cost everyone else.
It’s because we live in a system with perverse incentives. It’s practically designed by psychopaths, for psychopaths. Still, we only get one life, don’t spend it going against your better nature.
I’ll die poor with morals rather than rich and evil. I’m okay with that.
I disagree, other than a few notable counter examples most times folks are only successful when they build reliable business relationships. Most relationships will dissolve if one party is playing games.
On average it’s more effective to follow “The No Assholes Rule”. There’s plenty of studies (referenced in the book Good To Great) that indicate that humble business leaders produce build more stable and long term profitable companies.
Lying manipulators can sometimes get ahead but just as often they get found out and blackballed.
I think it might be like a game theory type situation where if everyone is honest, then the first liar might get ahead a lot (although I suspect in that situation they’d immediately be shunned by all honest folk if found out). If everyone is a liar then honest folk have nothing to hide and probably will just be really defensive in their dealings.
Business relationships are almost always purely transactional. When you stop being able to supply someone with what they want or at a good price then they will find someone else. The average CEO is not a friendly selfless person, which is why sociopaths find success in the business world.
Do you believe that the majority of people who hold power and influence are genuine philanthropists?
Business owner here, even if not a very good one. These kinds of CEOs exist, but there are far from the norm. And they usually act that way because the owners of the company expect them to lead that way. There is a crowd mechanic of many people owning some of the stock of a company. It leads to some psychopathy as nobody feels responsible and everybody wants to earn some extra Money. Look into a documentary called “cooperation”.
Most business people, especially the more successful ones are the classic boys club people. They get good deals by being friends and knowing people that give them access. It leads to a culture where what you earn has more or less nothing to so with what or how good you work. If you know the show billions, watch it and look for the making of episodes. There is a lot of real world experience in the writing.
I went to business school and worked in corporate for a while, I know our experiences are anecdotal but the ones I know that climbed the corporate ladder the best are the ones who have family connections and/or lie the best. They do come across as charismatic, charming, friendly, because that’s what works.
If it comes down to a promotion or raise though, they’re obviously not likely to voluntarily give it to someone else who may be more deserving. As a business owner I’m sure you know when companies get larger, people end up being faceless cogs of the machine and the C suite is more concerned with hitting targets for shareholders.
Working in cooperations is the definition of insanity. Been there, it’s crazy. And yes, there the lying and cheating part is most likely to get you ahead.
I can’t disagree with that
