If you use too many parentheses you might have a lisp.

It’s unlikely to be up to anywhere else’s standards. I can’t imagine the Grauniad publishing it. And while the FT’s crossword is famous for being pink and hard in the morning, I doubt they’d find space for it either.

I don’t recommend it. I tried increasing my electrolytic capacity once and found some little pills that seemed ideal. I had to eat a lot of them because they were only labelled “microfood” or something like that.

The hospital staff were all very unprofessional. They all giggled when they discharged me.

No that was a song by David Jowie.

Mutt

“Oh, thanks! What I’d like is some extremely hot sauce in a bottle labelled ‘ketchup’”.

Not really; one guy died, by his own choice, but came back to life two days later. A real “cult of human sacrifice” would require it as an ongoing practice and for the victims to stay dead.