And the ease of hiring people who have experience with Microsoft clients compared with the ease of hiring people that can set up an open source version

Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to do something along the lines of stating upfront that “if anyone in the company does anything to offend you, please report it to the appropriate channels. You’ll have our full support. We’re here to get work done, not to make people feel bad”

You’re not likely going to say by accident something they haven’t heard before, or to offend them in a new and novel way, But establishing and occasionally reinforcing the fact that they don’t have to tolerate it, that putting up with abuse is not part of their job, and that they have the boss’s backing at the same level of the non-LGBTQ employees should they find themselves being abused or offended, would probably go a decent way in minimizing the risk of something actually bad happening.

It’s more like conservation of karma. You get a thing you wanted at a price you weren’t prepared to pay.

Trying to follow those guidelines, I would guess the list would be something more like:

1: Nothing changes, the only difference is that if you would otherwise put on more body fat than you currently have, the excess fat gets turned to horrible uncontrollable diarrhea that hits with no warning, so now you have to be on a diet for the rest of your life or else you’ll shit yourself in public.

2: Has to spend the rest of your life eating more than you burn as any weight you lose would be permanently lost, which will eventually kill you unless something else kills you first. This is computed by your original weight, so even if you would be fine with 800 calories, you must consume your current maintenance calories every day for the rest of your life. (See: Steven King’s Thinner)

3: You are unable to purchase anything. Every transaction fails. If people do not feed you out of the kindness of their hearts, or failing that, you are unable to barter for goods and services, you will die of hunger and exposure to the elements.

4: You get 5cm taller. People start telling you how much they liked you the way you were and that they feel lesser about you now that you’re taller. The new people you meet often comment on how hot/sexy/great/beautiful you would be if only you were a little bit shorter.

5: You become super strong but your bones and tendons can’t keep up. Using your super strength is pussyfooting with permanent disability.

6: No, yours is right. “you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy” Banger. Spot on. No Notes.

7: Have many followers would be worse if it was just a cult of people who follow you everywhere you go. The only time you can be alone is in your own home, until they realize they can just break in.

8: Forget your ex lover but they forget you too. You eternal sunshine of the spotless mind each other

9: A lot of money but the people you love die. <- This was one of the original monkey’s paws, iirc.

I’d pick 459 if I could put the 5cm on my ding dong.

1 is much better all around, assuming that they mean you “instantly drop to an ideal body fat percentage” and not “all of the fat on your body disappears forever”

Yeah, “Don’t gain weight from eating” would mean that any dieting you do would be permanent. You lose 1 oz, that 1 oz is gone forever.

Super easy to lose weight that way, but also, potentially risky in that you could unintentionally diet away all of your body fat and not be able to replace it.

Even if you’re a consistent overeater, you’re going to have days where you can’t hit your target and lose more weight.

Sounds more like a curse than a blessing.

You’d be lucky to make it to your mid 60s unless you started out very overweight and didn’t try to crash diet your way to “normalcy”.

The ability to control all matter at the subatomic level.

If being stuck in place was not the side effect of this superpower, I would assume that you would be able to move because the force you can exert is greater than the force of static resistance that air has.

However, since the air can’t move, every step you take would create more and more of a vacuum behind you.

So you could pause time, walk six feet, and create a massive sonic boom that would shatter glass in a several meter radius and probably throw you to the ground and potentially rupture your eardrums or give you soft tissue damage.

You could defeat enemies by freezing time, punching them a couple of times, and then walking around them until all of the air around them for several feet was missing, and then retreat to as safe of an location as possible, and then unpause time.

If you got onto a bicycle and peddled several miles, you could cause widespread destruction.

Death counts as a cancellation, so that wouldn’t work.

Okay, yeah, but then all you have to do is give everyone beneficial side effects.

I would get the biggest fattest breast implants possible and be a stripper with a built-in cheese dispenser.

Delores O’Riorden.

Watching her dance under a waterfall covered in gold paint for the music video for Zombie really did it for child me apparently.

They don’t jail you, they take every penny you’ve ever had or will have for the rest of your life.

It’s only fair, you becoming destitute for liking a post is far better than the risk that they didn’t get their $24.95 from you. /s

It’ll save you nearly $50 a month. So even if the customer service is exactly the same, you get to keep another $600 each year.

I switched to my local provider from Xfinity about three months ago, and my internet speeds are twice as fast for the same money.

Nah, this is funny.

The people that downvoted you need to fucking chill. I’m Native, so I am allowed to make a judgment call on that.

The entire thing is far more disturbing if you unsquint your eyes and actually look at what you’re seeing.

Messy story, I’ll do my best to lay it out in a reasonable way:

For my mom and stepdad, it was the kidnapping tied with lifetime of neglect and abuse.

And I call it kidnapping because that’s what it was, even though there wasn’t really a good law against it, because basically they moved, they did not tell my dad or my dad’s side of the family where they had moved to, or leave any contact information.

From the time I was 6 until I was 13 and I went behind my back and tracked down my grandmother, I had no contact with that side of my family.

Then my mom had the gall to go after my dad for unpaid child support during the seven years where he could not track me down or locate me and spent countless sleepless nights worrying about me, wondering where I was.

As for my dad, he was actually a pretty decent person, but he was also very much a Disney dad. I did not get an awful lot of interaction with him in my childhood, (thanks to said kidnapping), but even once we reconnected when I was a teenager his job and my mom made it so that he basically didn’t see me but maybe once a year, if that, until I was an adult.

Despite my hatred of my mother, once I was an adult I had cut her off and hadn’t seen her for four or five years and my dad said, you only get one mother. I’d really appreciate it if you still spent time with her and saw her.

So I put my hatred to the side and tried to reconnect with my mom, which wasn’t good, but was manageable until my dad died from Covid, and my mom sent me a slew of angry text messages over why my younger half sister, her bastard daughter, whom she conceived by cheating on my father, which was the impetus for their divorce in the first place, wasn’t included in my father’s memorial page which was made by my stepmom who had been my stepmom for like 30 years.

I cussed her the fuck out and I haven’t talked to her since.

I blocked her ability to text message me, because I don’t want to fucking talk to her, so she has gone out of her way to get new phone numbers, to occasionally message me and send me TikToks about how she doesn’t know what to say to me (apparently, she’s never heard of the concept of an apology or admitting you’re wrong when your actions have hurt somebody), and to send me Amazon gift cards for my birthday when I don’t fucking shop at Amazon because they’re a shit tier company.

There is a North America, and there is a South America,

Those are two separate continents.

You can check on any map of continents and that will show you that this is true information.

One could even say America is two continents.

I think it was Jesus that said, “It’s better to ban an entire nation from existing than it is to work out your own sexuality with fear and trembling”.