Maybe because nobody would listen, or care about what he went through.
Or the inverse, that instead of just listening they made it something bigger than it had to be, trying to “fix it” when all he really needed was someone to listen for a few minutes, maybe a lap to lay on, but instead he got a “solution” he never asked for
maybe a lap to lay on
Couldn’t find the exact right GIF, but The Boys came to mind.
lol I love that show, and homelander has some serious mommy issues, but I’m unsure if you’re suggesting that laying your head on your partner’s lap is strange or some sort of weakness
No, I’m saying it made me think of that scene.
Or maybe just what OC said… Or sometimes, there’s just no one to “listen” to. Or no “lap to lay on”. Or the laps that exist are so fragile that they would collapse at the weight of just your words. Or sometimes, there’s really something that needs fixing…
“Nobody would listen” yet people (not just men) don’t go to therapy where someone’s not only PAID to listen, but to help you challenge those cognitive distortions and apply the skills gained to heal with people that do want to listen without the payment. There’s 8 billion people in the world. It’s simply not true “nobody would listen or care.”
- Not everyone can afford a therapist
- Not all therapists are equal
- Just because there are 8 billion people in the world doesn’t mean there is someone there for you that will genuinely listen to you
But people with your attitude is exactly what I’m talking about.
There are sliding scale agencies, some taking on clients for free. Take care.
Sure. I gotta pay just to talk to people. Love this society. I think I will just isolate for a bit like the meme says.
Therapy is not about talking to people, it’s about helping you be best version of yourself. About helping you help yourself. Instead of continue doing whatever you think you’re doing, with isolation and self harm and constant loathing.
I dont understand how a therapist could help me be a better version of myself? They dont know me and they likely arent any better of a person themselves. I can only imagine its generic self help advice parroted to for hundreds of dollars as hour.
Therapy is only useful for people that need help working through a disorder.
This.
Who can afford to have an expert misunderstand them, hour after expensive hour, and all the while risk being labeled instead of helped?
Nah. Now that Medicaid/care is dead, the US is about to see a whole lotta deaths as a result. (Neglect, escapism, etc.)
Fuck these Nazis (in the face with a brick, preferably)
Is there a handy cheat sheet of topics you can’t bring up with your therapist if you want them to maintain confidentiality?
if you are about to kill yourself or others, your therapist HAS to get outside help - he can’t just let it happen. Please note that there is a difference (and it’s not even subtle) between discussing thoughts of suicide and murder vs. you are about to do the same. Calmly talking with your therapist about those thoughts will not be an issue; being severely agitated and shouting about who has it coming surely is. The specific wording is that there must be imminent or inevitable risk and that a specific victim can be identified - to be fair, if i were to be in such a state, i’d prefer a mental hospital stay over hurting someone anyway.
They also have a duty to report if you tell them you are about to commit a crime (please note that this does not include stuff in the past), and they have a duty to report in the case of a minor telling them that they are in an abusive home situation. That’s the gist of it. There are some state laws like in California where, should you be in the situation where the prosecution wants to give you a death sentence, they can call your therapist as a witness; or when you admit to viewing CSAM. You can read up details here.
I’ve discussed suicidal thoughts, murderous thoughts, psychiatric episodes, past abuse i’ve experienced (passive AND active - people who get abused tend to do the same to others, especially as a child, which still haunted me nearly 30 years later), situations where i hurt others in my past (real and imagined), illegal substance abuse and addiction, theft, and a lot of other shit that happened in my life with my therapist.
Hmm. Honestly? I’m unsure if promoting that sort of withholding would be moral, despite it seeming wise to be aware of. Generally, anything said pro is required to report on, but that’s merely a technicality and in no way implies a suggestion to hide truth from the law. Ahem.
As long as you don’t show disclose intent to harm yourself or others then you’re fine. Note that ideation is not intent but where exactly that line lies will depend on the therapist.
Generally speaking, saying that you have thoughts of suicide is fine, but saying that you went out and bought a tank of inert gas, some hoses, and a big plastic bag, will get you put on a psych hold.
I know this at least doesn’t include if you’re discussing child abuse and don’t intend on harming anyone yourself. But I’m more worried about the stuff I don’t know about. And to be perfectly honest, the situation in my country is so bad that I don’t think every desire to harm others is necessarily unwell.
And to be perfectly honest, the situation in my country is so bad that I don’t think every desire to harm others is necessarily unwell.
It’s definitely not. But once again the line is between stating desire and stating intent. You won’t get put on a hold for saying you want someone dead. You will get put on a hold for saying you are going to kill someone and have a plan to do so. Somewhere between those two points is the threshhold where some mental health professionals will report you and some won’t.
I tried 7cups and it was like Paid Premium Ad Vendor Popup Email Signup Money Time Listen Service Exclusive bullshit scheme.
Volunteering armchair psychologist in
.world?Who really wants to know of something someone went through without it being beneficial for the victim? Are you going to commit to a gofundme?
Don’t publish in a vacuum, praxis mental care, for those that really consent.
Brii Ash, wasn’t doing so in insta.
I’m sorry, what?
In english, please?
Aaand of course you are not a man.
Can you simply accept that you may not know what other people go through?
You don’t have to be a man to understand the male experience. We’re very vocal about it.
Right?? It’s like a Canadian having an opinion on the USA. Sometimes people can see things in yourself that you cannot.
Besides, the vast, impassible gulf that exists between all sentient minds dwarfs whatever trivial difference gender introduces.
Look, it was exhausting explaining a similar situation in the past and we just don’t feel like going through the explanation phase right after dealing with the bad thing.
Translation: “Something happened in the part of my life I don’t tell you about, but I handled it.”
Walter?
Put your dick away waltuh
“Wh-why do you gotta b-be such a, a bitch all the time?!”
Y’all made me regret it last time I told you, so…
Confessing your problems to a self-proclaimed mentally unstable redhead seems like a good way to make them worse.
If I got kidnapped into an epic space/fantasy adventure for several months, and then suddenly got dropped back on earth at the exact time in place I was taken from, I’d probably say this too.
Like, I’ve just been through the craziest adventure of my life, and I’d really like to talk about it, but you wouldn’t believe a word I had to say.
And all that timey-wimey shit
Some Farscape type of adventure. I could definitely see that happening at the end
Have you been reading Slaughterhouse 5? Perhaps you have become unstuck in time?
Because nobody cares. And if he does start talking about it, he’s unmanly. Yes, to women too.
I’ve had no less than 3 women dump me directly after crying in front of them. Married one that has no issue with that, but still…
Yeah. Those advocates for gender norms who says girls can be anything too will immediately tell you to “man up” at the first sign of weakness. How about we knock out gender norms both ways?
Guess what im doing with my problems now? And im also not sharing my solutions to said problems after theyre resolved because itll be a “why didnt you handle that sooner?” Or some other bullshit about how you could have prevented it from even starting
Boo fucking hoo. Be unmanly. What has being manly ever gotten you? If you weren’t so concerned about appearing manly, you wouldn’t give a shit about that. That’s your toxic masculinity as much as it is whomever is shaming you.
Ah yes, their support network refusing to support them if they dont fit the mold someone else has instilled upon them. Definitely self inflicted.
Diarrhea
Not the fun type neither
There’s other types?
oh dude, wait until your first colonoscopy. there’s types
kinda types
I don’t tell people things because they weaponize it against me later. Not handing you knives to stab me with no matter how you frame it.
I left a new friendship real fast because he said, “I take pleasure in mocking my friends.”
And I told him, “I’m not interested in that level of immaturity” and he texts me every few months with random YouTube videos left on seen.
I’m too old for this shit.
I think you might need better mates. Unless the things you’re doing is kicking dogs.
I never could quite understand how to describe the experience of “clicking” or “meshing” with someone. Now I realize its got to do with the mutual ability to differentiate between communication from an emotional thought and that from a logical thought.
When I’m not clicking with someone they’re probably regularly misattributing and applying the opposed source of communication and acting on it. When someone assigns an emotional thought to the logic bin it feels like backstabbing, like the thought is weaponized against me while I was being vulnerable.
Anyways, that’s why i talk to you as little as possible Steve.
this is the way
if they’re gonna do that why are you hanging out with these people
Long before my time, my WW2 veteran grandfather checked himself into the psych ward at the local hospital, spent several weeks there, then discharged himself voluntarily and never spoke of it again. The mental health stigma was real.
Look if I tell you about my impending suicide it’s going to make everything worse for both of us
Not suicide. But one time, I ate something so bad I diarrhea’d nonstop. Practically ghosted my friend for a whole week because I was quietly dying from pooping my insides. Oh, and the SMELL.
Anyways, when I saw them again, the thought did cross my mind. Easier to tell them suicide rather than explain that I couldn’t stop projectile shitting everywhere.
maybe you should ask
The real problem is that when they do ask, the answer invariably leads to the person leaving for good. Yeah, I get it. I’m not fucking perfect, and I can’t even protect myself most of the time. Doesn’t mean that I should lose everyone that supposedly cares about me because I cracked for a few minutes.
daysyearsftfy
3D2Y
Would you rather me tell you about the tank of helium and the bag and hoses I bought and then returned, or do you just want to go back to playing cards and getting on with things?
i thought i was the only one who thought of that…
<3
Made the right choice BTW, stay strong.
I don’t know if it was strength or not. I fell in love. Went to visit a friend I have known for 20 years but never met in person. Intended for it to be a goodbye. Plan was to go see him, get back home, mail the letters, drive to the ocean, and watch the sea as it happened. Even bought clear bags to make sure I could see it.
Fell in love with him while I was there. Not sure if that’ll work out or not, but it gave me a reason to live. And if it doesn’t work out, it means there might be other reasons to live still out there. I had only ever had the one reason, it was an honest to surprise to find out there could be another.
I hope you continue to find new reasons.
Exactly. I couldn’t agree more.
When killing yourself the right thing to do is to set it up some piano wire in such a way that you’re able to sever your own head, AFTER supergluing your hands to the side of your head.
Its crucial that you have a friend that’s in on it so that they can remove the piano wire when they “stumble” on to your dead body, and the investigators struggle to figure out how and why your ripped your own head off.
The idea that women can’t be just as emotionally unavailable and fucked up as men is laughable. Women are simply forced to pass and simulate the acceptable emotions you want them to have.
This post describes me down to the letter. Friends have issues with it but over time they’ve come to understand it’s just how I am. In men, its stoic. In women, you’re a cold bitch.
Or one can always smile, always laugh, always demure, always dissemble, always hide, always mask, always be emotionally removed.
That sounds tiring, doesn’t wearing that heavy of a mask constantly start itching the soul?
My point is that when women are withdrawn and emotionally unavailable, they are more likely to have been conditioned to present (and perhaps are more capable of presenting) a false face so that those around them are not aware in the first place. And yes, it’s known to be incredibly fatiguing, sometimes to the point where you can’t really do anything else.
And their Steam profile is like: Factorio 832 hours played 117 hours in the last two weeks
The games are probably a necessary distraction from the bad thing
832 hours… What is this kindergarten?
If you don’t have 5,000 hours in factorio, can you even call yourself an engineer?
What if you’re an engineer who knows about Factorio and also knows a few things about your own psyche, and therefore have 0.0 hours played?
This is why I warn my friends not to play factorio. I’m not strong enough to lead by example, but I can definitely live as a warning.
I kind of want to try it. Especially once we get closer to winter. I could test my ability to still work on some planned indoor tech projects while Factorio is installed on my computer.
I bet I’d pass that test.
… unless preying on such hubris is how the factory gets you! Maybe the real test is knowing the only way to win is to not play at all!
Then you’re a smarter person than I, my friend.
I’m assuming satisfactory also applies. Any game you might whip out spreadsheets tbh.
THE FACTORY MIST GROW DEPRESSION BE DAMNED
