Zork

Yooo this is actually genius.

Were you homeschooled by a pigeon?

At best.

Of course. Does their voter base strike you as people who give two shits about their own well being?

They run on spite. They don’t want to win- they just want you to lose. And they’ll pretend to believe whatever might have to be true to make them feel like you have.

Start throwing punches.

Hey, Beavis. He said “fat nut.” Heheheheh.

Cool.

As someone who has a tough time getting to sleep most nights, this actually sounds like hell.

What are they doing that isn’t easily ignored?

There absolutely are not. There are anemic little marches scattered here and there.

Americans were protesting George Bush in 2004 more forcefully and in vastly larger numbers than they are protesting now.

Some assholes gave the US a bloody nose and America spent the next quarter decade trying to stop the bleeding by continuously stabbing itself in the heart

No way he’d ever do such a thing. I know a guy who said they saw him at a party in Pittsburgh at the time of the shooting.

I was banned for “showing extreme indifference” when that really funny thing happened to the health care CEO

This week’s Behind the Bastards about Jim Caviezel is hilarious.

You boys aren’t nerds, are you?

Because this isn’t the nerd taxi.

Sodium citrate is the ingredient responsible for helping regular cheese to melt into a smooth, creamy sauce- it has the chemical formula Na₃C₆H₅O₇.

In the time I’ve been waiting for Skywind to release, I:

Met my future wife

Started grad school

Got engaged

Finished my Masters’

Got married

Bought a condo

Published two textbooks

Started a doctorate

Became a dad

Sold a condo

Bought a house

Finished my PhD

Got tenure

Started sending my kid to preschool

Not sure, but someone’s probably going to find me on the 8th hole wrapped in plastic.

I feel bullied by this question

I have a feeling you would absolutely love “The Gargoyle” by Andrew Davidson.