Oh! This one jar that is freakin stuck super bad.

You haven’t lost your virginity until both balls are in.

Sorry Nike, but turn your logo upside down, kick off those sneakers and light up a NEWPORT.

It pays off in the moment but then you die to death the next day.

(A girl is born)
Doc: BRING FORWARD THE LARGEST BOW.

Some say they’re feisty, but I think they work great as a team.

If someone enjoys something I say let them enjoy it. Seems like an interesting combination but not something I need to go out and try immediately.

My wife will just slowly scoot over to me while she’s in blanket cocoon mode and then lean on me.

See the problem is you’re using logic and reason backed up by facts. They need to hear loud buzzwords from talking heads.

The Denny’s waitress rolled her eyes when I asked which wine pairs best with the chicken strips.

Anal is now first base.

B-But I’m not a Linux admin!