ratboy [they/them]

  • 0 Posts
  • 11 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: August 17th, 2023
  • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.nettoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•I (M32) gained 140lbs in a year from bad choices, almost all in my belly (now 69-inches) due to rare genetics. With my unique proportions, I’ve outgrown most off-the-rack clothing options. Advice?English
    3·
    8 months ago

    Hi there, first I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. It’s on a much smaller level but I’ve always struggled with body dysmorphia and clothes shopping is an absolute nightmare, it doesn’t help that sizing can vary so greatly between brands and most of what is carried in stores are for “average sized” people.

    Anyway, I really think you’ll probably have to just shop online AND probably go to a tailor, based on what you’ve shared about your shape. It sucks, but then you can get something that fits you perfectly and it will probably feel much better than just getting something way oversized that is super baggy in some spots and not in others.

    I found this website called Johnny Bigg that carries dress shirts up to an 8X. According to their size charts, an 8x can fit a 69-71" chest, so I’m thinking that you could get away with buying shirts from there, maybe, and bringing them to get tailored. Here is a nice button down shirt from them. It is possible that you might need to buy completely custom made dress pants though. Do you wear your pants over or under your belly? Not sure your exact shape but if you are able to wear pants under it, that might not be preferable for you but can cut down on the size significantly.

  • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.nettoDeGoogle Yourself@lemmy.ml•*Permanently Deleted*English
    10·
    8 months ago

    I think YouTube would be the toughest for me to quit as well. But I use it almost exclusively for music; I listen to a lot of underground/independent artists and its just so easy to find everything I want, and their algorithm works decently well so that I can discover or rediscover artists. Being able to use the app on my TV is another attractive part of it too. I admit I havent spent too much time in newpipe or any of the other alternatives; it would probably get easier if I made myself use it and ease in but I just don’t!

  • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.nettoBike Commuting@lemmy.ml•i want to ride a bicycleEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    Good on you! Do you have any sort of budget at all? Single speed bikes can be a bit cheaper than those with gears. By single speeds I don’t mean fixed gears, which I am even weary of riding even though I’ve been an avid cyclist for like 12 years. If you look on craigslist or Facebook marketplace (if you’re in the US) you can usually find bikes for decent prices that are used! If you go that route and find a single speed, make sure the brakes seem to work okay how I do this is ill stand by the bike, press both brake levers down, and try to push it forward. If it only moves a bit or not at all, it’s probably fine. I’d try both the front and back individually. If the levers press all the way down to the handlebars before they start to give any resistance, that means the brakes need to be replaced (cheap), but could mean they need to be adjusted. Not a bad thing necessarily as you can bring it to a shop, but just something to look out for as an extra immediate expense.

    Depending on where you live, there may be shops that refurbish old bikes for discounts too so search around. There may also be bike rentals, too. Might be a good option so you can try a bike without committing to purchasing at first.

    Getting on a bike can feel intimidating but you’ll get it. Practice riding in a straight line in a place where there is no car traffic. If you go too slow, you will probably fall because it takes a lot more balance to keep yourself up if you’re barely pedaling; that’s why “track stands” are so difficult. So try not to be afraid, you have your breaks and your feet so if you feel yourself tilting you can always put your foot down while gently pressing on the brakes to keep yourself from falling over. You could even just push yourself forward kinda hard with your foot without pedaling to get a feel for how the bike moves and you can stop yourself with brakes/feet. You wont fly over the handlebars when you’re learning. In my opinion the worst that might happen is that you fall on your side if you’re pedaling too slowly, or if you trip over yourself when biking. The worst thing to be hurt is your ego, though lol.Always a good idea to get a helmet too. I’d say it’s mandatory.

    An important thing is to make sure that the bike is a good fit. This is a chart. You can ask the seller what the size is if they haven’t specified. Some people like the feel of a bike that’s a little smaller or bigger but youll want to generally follow the guide. You can adjust the saddle size to fit you as well. Ideal saddle height is when the saddle hits your hip bone. It might feel a lil scary/tall if you’re just starting to learn but that’s what it should be; your pedaling will be most effective and your knees will thank you. When you bring the bike home you can slam the saddle down lower so that you can learn to ride and get comfy on the bike but once you learn to do it raise the saddle back to your hip bone. Youll get used to it and you’ll probably be able to tell the difference.in comfort and that your pedal strokes will feel more “powerful”.

    Let me know if you have any other questions and I’m happy to help!

  • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.nettoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•How do you deal with the poor and desperate around you? (Homeless or some stranger who is in an utterly helpless position)English
    8·
    1 year ago

    So I work full time with homeless people who deal with mental illness and substance use issues.

    If you are struggling with surviving yourself, you can only do what you can do. This world is fucked up and you shouldn’t be struggling, and those people on the street shouldn’t be in that position either, and it always seems like the burden to assist the poorest in our society is put on to other poor people, because we can actually understand what it’s like at least a little.

    There may be times when you can only spare some change, other times maybe 5 or 10 dollars. Other times, nothing at all. If you have the ability at all, even the smallest amount can be helpful even if you don’t think it will be. But, if you feel hesitant, don’t beat yourself up for it. You thinking of giving ANYTHING AT ALL means you’re doing more than most people would.

    Also, I think it’s important to try to let go of the moralistic thinking when it comes to people using the money for alcohol or drugs. People end up using drugs because of mental illness, people gave told me that at least when using they feel like they HAVE a reason why theyre hearing voices and seeing shit and its in their control.Because they lost their job due to becoming disabled and doctors won’t prescribe painkillers so they have to find something to numb the pain on the street. They were a foster kid who got kicked out with nothing, no family or friends and we’re physically and mentally abused for years so using drugs is the only way they know how to cope.

    Another very real story I heard recently as to why someone drowned themselves in liquor for 15 years is because his nephew was playing hide and seek and hid under a pile of clothes in a closet. A fire started in the house; he was searching everywhere for the kid, and was digging and digging but couldn’t pull him out before the firemen forced him to leave. So he had to stand there and watch as his nephew burned alive because the firemen would not go back in to get him. You don’t know someone’s story and why they got to where they are. If you don’t want your money going to drugs or alcohol, you can make the choice to not give anyone money on the off chance that they happen to have a substance use issue, but remember they are people too with a lot of trauma.