Their art is so bad. If they don’t make Jesus look 60, then he just looks indiscernible. The lighting is all over the place, the stripes on the flag are so narrow there’d have to be thirty original colonies, and Jesus looks like he has double decker mouths with the OCD that makes you pluck your eyebrows bald.

Thanks, I’ll drive safer. Assuming I’m not blinded by all of this bleach

I don’t but it made me laugh. What cultural blind spot am I missing?

Ugh! I’ll have to hire kids on drugs to compete with those fat cats pulling down three salaries!

Great workaround rec, thanks

Keep it down what if they start organizing?

Wait so could I hire some suckers to do my hours so I could keep my salary and hours?

PugMary sounds like a difficult woman to grow up with, sorry you had to go through that.

Congratulations!

Edit: wait how many do you smoke now?

On behalf of the less tech savvy lemurs: you all are awesome.

(I know it’s lemming, but I feel like a fraud here not knowing Linux and coding)

This is exactly why people shouldn’t get exotic pets. They’re cute when they’re little then when they grow owners just don’t know how to take care of them.

Mr Popper and Cobblepot have glamorized owning animals they have no right to and this kind of immitated abuse is inevitable.

Not trying to throwing stones here, but the headline isn’t oniony. Unfortunately it’s unsurprising gun news, it’s also not funny.

The sarcastic part was suggesting vigilante turd policing.

I don’t see what’s oniony about this, people that don’t pickup after their dogs should be severely and unusually punished. Extrajudicial is just extra justice.

Edit: not picking up dog poop is inconsiderate, murder is abhorrent. Do we really need /s on nottheonion too?