You’re being down voted, but I feel you. It’s why I picked one of the largest instances when I joined, despite what other Lemmings tend to tell people to do. Picking a small instance is a bad idea because they die out like that. I’ve seen several fairly significant smaller instances die out at this point. I don’t want to wake up and my account suddenly vanished one day because the host forgot about it.

I’m really out of the loop. Why is lemm.ee shutting down? I thought it was one of the more sizeable instances.

Thank you very much for sharing your story! I’m sorry to hear about your friend, btw. But I’m glad you got to share your life with them for so long. I’m lucky that I have a really good friend right now too at least! They have a family of their own so it’s not as if we can mutually prioritize each other to the same extent, but that’s ok.

Omg I had the same experience during puberty lol. Even into my late teens and early twenties, my mom would kind of bug me about it. When I still wasn’t taking anyone home, she used to drop hints that it would be ok if I was a lesbian and had a girlfriend lol! Thankfully at this point, people stop bringing it up haha.

Yeah I’m definitely working on trying to get rid of the FOMO at this point in time. I have a lot of great people in my life tbh and I’m trying to branch out and be a bit more social with things that scare me. But even if I do, I’ll never really have the “standard” human experience. Gotta figure out how to eventually be ok with that.

I’m not a spiritual or religious person, myself. I briefly looked into Taoism, but it seems that the westernized idealized version of it isn’t what Taoism necessarily is in reality.

Thanks for your offer to chat! Hope you don’t mind if I’m just giving a long winded response here lol.

I found out about asexuality in my teens. Even today, whenever I approach asexual communities, I find that most of them are filled with very young coming of age people who are so extremely “terminally online” to the point where it makes me a bit uncomfortable. And I’m saying this as someone who is terminally online myself. It’s difficult to explain what I mean and I hope I am not offending other asexuals out there. But it’s refreshing to hear from your perspective, as an asexual in the “real world”, with thoughts, feelings, and experiences based more in reality as opposed to in an online hypersensitive safety zone.

Hope the best for you!

I don’t think I’ve ever really spoken to an older asexual on the internet before. I know it’s a tangent from the main OP, but do you think you could expand on some things for me?

1. When did you realize that you were asexual? And how did you deal with it considering it’s a relatively new term that wouldn’t have really been spoken of when you were growing up.

2. Do you find your life fulfilling? I have a social need, but not a sexual need, so it makes it frustrating knowing that I need people, but that a relationship with 99% of the population doesn’t make sense. (Yes, you can find other asexuals out there, but we are exceedingly rare and there are not going to be many, if at all, in your same city.)

I’m younger than you, but not so young that my life as a whole is still being figured out or anything. I’m in my 30s and now secure in my career, but still struggle with social things and figuring out what I need for my life to be fulfilling. I’ve likely been a lifelong asexual. I’ve also never had a partner.

Anyway, sorry if that is too much to ask lol, but I was just curious!

Ohhh I remember Wubi! No need to boot from an install media and you can install it entirely under Windows. That method of installing a dual boot never seemed to get super popular and I guess based on the OSes listed in that article, it seems pretty dated and not updated. I’m kind of curious to know whether or not it still works tbh.

Plus like…does this person never get sick in 8 years? I think if I ran while I had COVID or a stomach bug I would literally just die.

Huge disclaimer: I’m at work so I can’t actually watch the video and so I can’t know the answer to this.

Usually this doesn’t happen to me actually and I know when things can be kind of messed up. But one time I was telling a story of when my dad threw a trumpet at my older brother which I thought was conceptually hilarious in retrospect as an adult. But yeah I got a similar sort of response as the OP lol. Don’t worry, all us kids are all grown up now and my brother is even no contact with my dad so it’s all good!

That’s odd. I have lived in apartment complexes for a large portion of my life. There has always been a single outgoing mail slot with the rows of mailboxes at the apartment complexes. It blends in so it might not look too different than the rest of the bank of mailboxes. This is in the US though so idk how other countries handle it.

I hear this but I don’t understand. All diet soft drinks taste absolutely disgusting to me. I’ve had both Coke Zero and Diet Coke and both have that disgusting fake sugar aftertaste.

I either get non-Diet soft drinks or I go flavored sparkling water. I can’t do that fake sugar shit. It’s nasty.

But the one exception for me is that I put fake sugar in my coffee. The bitter aftertaste of the coffee helps mask the aftertaste of the fake sugar.

Weirdly I don’t think I’ve ever had a “phase” like other people seem to have gone through. Is this common enough to not have had something like that?

I guess it was possibly as a teen when I was being LOLRANDOM on internet forums. Not sure if that counts tho because I have always been an internet dweller.

It’s tricky for me though because I’ve always had a social need. I don’t have a need for sex like the majority of other humans do, but I do have a need to be social. Lickily I fulfill most of my social needs by going to work, but it can be stressful at times.

I don’t understand why this dude painted all of his people that way and why people found it impressive.

Yeah I love alone and have a career where I cannot work at home. Sometimes I think about getting a pet, but I just can’t see it as being ethical in my situation. Sometimes I do ponder getting a cat though as they seem more independent, but I don’t have much experience with them.

I know people with kids and they always seem like they are perpetually exhausted and barely hanging on. They talk about not sleeping and conflicts and issues and it just honestly makes it sound horrendous and really looks like they are all suffering from an outsider’s perspective. But then they tell me that it’s worth it because it’s “fulfilling” like you said. I don’t know. From an outsider’s perspective, parents’ words don’t seem to correlate with what I see and hear.

I have a feeling that when people talk about things being “fulfilling” or “worth it” despite seeming to objectively be suffering must be some combination of strange hormones with coping mechanisms.

Idk. That’s just my thoughts as a confused outsider. I’m happy that people are able to raise children. Someone has to. But I don’t think I could make myself suffer to that extreme for a being that will never truly understand what you’re doing for them until decades later.

Do you mind expanding on this? What habits are you tracking?

I’m not sure who out here is randomly posting that information to ChatGPT. But even if they were, your address and personal details are unfortunately readily publicly available on the web. It’s 2025.

Lmao. I’m curious on what about my post history makes me sound like a Russian bot.

First, I do NOT work in IT or anything like that. But I seem to be the most tech savvy of all my coworkers. Occasionally one of them will ask for help and I’ll fix something for them. Sometimes one of them will comment that I am good with computers or something. Honestly, I figure things out just by clicking on everything. I think sometimes people are too afraid to click too many things for fear of breaking stuff, but there’s not a whole lot that can go catastrophically wrong imo. I tend to just click shit until I figure out what to do.

Goddamn you guys are the most paranoid people I’ve ever witnessed. What in the world do you think mega corps are going to do to me for babbling incoherent nonsense to ChatGPT?

No, it’s not a substitute for a real therapist. But therapy is goddamn expensive and sometimes you just need to vent about something and you don’t necessarily have someone to vent to. It doesn’t yield anything useful, but it can help a bit mentally do to do.

Same here. I remember about once a year growing up the school would have a day or so dedicated to the topic. I remember once as a pre teen my mom tried to give me a book on puberty for some reason. I found it embarrassing so I never read it but I never felt I needed to. The school’s teachings were sufficient.

Iirc as a younger kid they focused a bit more on changes to your own body. And then as I got older, they got to talking more about the physical act of sex.