• 7 Posts
  • 17 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: August 14th, 2023
  • SomeoneElse@lemmy.catoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•If you take care of your parents or other elderly, how are you preparing to age gracefully?
    13·
    2 years ago

    My mums been in hospital for 10 weeks. She only 62 and was admitted for a fairly routine infection after chemo for breast cancer. Since she’s been in hospital I’ve lost count of all the things that have gone wrong but the most distressing thing is the hospital delirium she’s developed. I’d never have believed my mum could become so violent and abusive, it’s like she’s a completely different person. She has absolutely no agency over her body at the moment, she can’t even sit up unaided. It’s so horribly undignified that it’s completely cemented my decision to commit suicide once I get a terminal diagnosis (or a diagnosis that I know I couldn’t deal with graciously). I can’t have children so it’s a small comfort that I won’t inflict the pain and heartbreak I’m experiencing from my mum, but I don’t ever want to treat my partner how she’s treating my dad. I’m going out on my own terms if at all possible.

  • SomeoneElse@lemmy.catoNot The Onion@lemmy.world•A little girl said monsters were in her bedroom. It was 60,000 beesEnglish
    28·
    2 years ago

    When I was very little, maybe 2, my mum had sat me down in front of Sesame Street while she did some chores. Not long after I came running into the kitchen “mummy mummy there’s a birdie in the front room!” She said yes, that was big bird and to go back in and watch it. I kept running back to her increasingly more upset about the birdie until she came into the living room to find a pigeon had come down the chimney and was irately trying to escape. I know I was too young to remember it, but I swear I can recall the feeling of vindication!

  • SomeoneElse@lemmy.catoADHD memes@lemmy.dbzer0.com•Wish I could beam this into every persons headEnglish
    5·
    2 years ago

    My partner is newly diagnosed at 40 and while on the surface it seems like he’s a just “shrug it off” guy, he’s not able to fully ignore it - there’s so much inner turmoil. He always feels bad for not doing XYZ and he’s never truly able to enjoy doing something else instead. He can be temporarily distracted by an enjoyable/relaxing activity, but he does care. He always cares. And he never feels like he deserves to enjoy anything when there’s so much to do at home/work/his life. It’s unbelievably distressing. ADHD is a spectrum. I’m so glad that you are able to shrug it off and enjoy other things, but that’s not the reality for all ADHD sufferers.

  • SomeoneElse@lemmy.caOPMtoDon’t You Know Who I Am?@lemmy.world•Not an employee.
    1·
    2 years ago

    I don’t consider any good-faith conversation about the way this community is run to be just “rambling” so please don’t worry about that. Have you read my mod posts? Not just the current stickied one, but the previous? I’ve gone out of my way to say I want this to be a group effort, that every single rule and decision is open to discussion. But other than @southsamurai@sh.itjust.works offering to be a second mod, and just 2 out of 45 posts in four months being made by someone who isn’t me, I’m doing all the heavy lifting here. Pretty much the only feedback I hear is that I’m doing something somebody doesn’t like. Like asking people not to insult you for example. Somehow I got complained at about that?!

    I never said your comment wasn’t factual. Before I explicitly stated I was updating the sidebar to include the no identifying info rule, the sidebar and stickied post asked all members to read and abide by the lemmy code of conduct and the lemmy.world instance rules, and I linked them. I don’t believe any of “my” rules were in addition to lemmy’s/lemmy.worlds when I created the communities I moderate. Google “lemmy rules + doxxing” or similar to see for yourself, or trawl through my comments. I’ve provided screenshots showing this previously under one of my usernames listed in the sidebar. I apologise if my reply increased the downvotes on your comment and made you feel like you weren’t being heard.

    Personally I agree that censoring names doesn’t stop the determined from doxxing. It’s almost as ineffective as fucking censoring swear words! But it does add an extra little step that might make someone who’s intending to brigade/harass stop for a second and think about what they’re doing… or decide it’s too much effort. If censoring personal info doesn’t stop you personally finding the original, then I’m not sure what legitimate reasoning there is against it. Especially when I take the time to post the context too.

    BUT I still offered two ways to put this to the vote to all subscribers, outside of the vote ratio on your original comment. Why don’t you take me up on one of them? I literally don’t know how I can be any more democratic about this than offering to hold the vote myself, for you to hold the vote, or for us to consider the ratio on your comment to be a general indication. Especially as I’m the only person who contributes anyway! Honestly, tell me what more you want me to do here?

    I never wanted to be a mod. I have no previous mod experience and I definitely take things to heart far too much to be a good moderator. But I reached my limit with Reddit’s bullshit and if no one actually puts themselves on the line here, if no one is willing to actually create communities, moderate them properly, and most importantly regularly post content to them, then lemmy won’t prosper.

    I’m making that effort and I’m trying really fucking hard to be fair and open and transparent about it. But I cannot do it on my own. So please, please instead of suggesting I run this community without listening to input, make your post and put the rule you have issue with to the whole community. I have said repeatedly I will adjust the rules accordingly to the general consensus. In the spirit of the transparency I’m so keen on - I’ll never make it against the rules to censor personal info though. So make the post about the rule. If the majority agree to scrap it we will. But it will still require someone other than me to contribute to see the change. Be that person, please!

    I’m really not the bad guy here, I just want a not-completely-shit Reddit alternative. And now I’ll stop ranting. Sorry about that. It’s been a helluva month.

  • SomeoneElse@lemmy.caOPMtoDon’t You Know Who I Am?@lemmy.world•Not an employee.
    1·
    2 years ago

    No posting of personal information was in the lemmy code of conduct when I created this community. Like all communities, this one has to follow those rules and the rules of the instance. It’s since been removed from the code of conduct I believe but, as others have commented, censoring the names of private individuals seems like the decent thing to do - especially as we’re sometimes laughing at the people in these screenshots. I’ll add it as a rule of its own in the sidebar for now.

    Currently I’m the only contributor here and I’m happy to continue taking the few seconds to censor full names and social media handles in the screenshots I post. I also make the effort to post the context, any follow ups and news links when possible, so there isn’t any need to go to Reddit/Twitter or wherever it’s from.

    However, I’m open to feedback on the rules and how this community is run, as stated in the stickied post. Would you like me to open a vote on whether we should keep the rule about censoring identifying info (or make your own post about it)? Or we could just go by the up/downvote ratio on your comment as an indication of what the majority want. Upvote to get rid of the rule, downvote to keep it. Currently 4 people vote to scrap the rule, 10 people want to keep it.

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