Thought they were just MP’s back then

OMG first thing I thought was great, now I won’t get bacon

Same here. I’d reckon most people do not sit or even stand idle at their jobs. I’d fucking kill to bitch about my posture from sitting at home all day.

I’m gonna bid $1, Bob.

Yeah but he said they weren’t all yellow so there is room for other colors.

Have you missed yet?

I’ve been telling people for years about the trick to flying but no one ever gets it.

I moved to California last year from Oklahoma. Occasionally I will say something about moving from Oklahoma and people are like, “oh that makes sense, you have a Midwestern accent sometimes”. We all sound normal to ourselves but everyone has an accent. Like the way California people say their O’s.

Oh yeah, totally, for luck. Def nothing gay. Def not. For luck.

Move it in and out at a medium pace

Now sit on the corner of the bed and watch me… Whack off

Shove it up your ass.

And mine.

Makes sense cuz I’m fucking hooked on that shit. I literally can’t go more than a few hours without it.

That’s some cold ass shit. :D

Yeah but if you crush them up and snort them you get that instant release action

Bigly if true

I bet the gerbil on the wheel in his head is exhausted. He should shove a couple more up his ass to help out.

Every time I get a haircut they’re like so what would you like. I always say, I’m not the one who has to see it so just make it reasonable for others I guess. I’m the same with clothes, who cares what anyone wears?? If people don’t like it like you said, that’s on them.

The la cucaracha horn from those cars

I feel like that would just sound like a fart