‘Fuck them kids’ is probably the plan. That global elite pedo ring is definitely recruiting at Guantanamo.

This lines up with what I’ve been shouting into the void whenever I read a news article. “Where are the fucking adults?!”

I was happy for him for a minute there. Then I realized my dyslexic mistake.

My wife and I point it out like a drinking game when they show random close-ups of the brand badge on ovens. It’s kind of like they’re cutting to the oven for a reaction shot. They do it at least once a segment on every competition show I’ve watched.

Season 40 is where it really starts to come into its own.

We can’t even stop ourselves.

Step 1: Please pay your Signal Light Subscription of $36/month to enable the bulbs.

Looks like you lost your spoon…

Then it asks you to contact them to troubleshoot or worse redirects you to an app store or web page for a full review. Best to just burn it all down and start over.

People don’t text me enough Nazi bullshit for this to make sense in 2025.

There’s an old joke about a guy who’s house sitting for a friend and he calls to say that his cat died. The friend say something like ‘don’t jump right to that bad news; build it up for a bit. Tell me the cat’s stuck on the roof and then tell me it fell’. The friend then says, “oh, well your grandma is stuck on the roof.” Damn, I hope this is just how they’re choosing to tell us.

Damn it! You’re right. I got demonetized which is not as metal as it sounds…

Check out my new death metal band Unalived by Seggs. It’s the only way we can post on Insta…

The new meta of dystopian fiction is utopia that we can never have.

Context can certainly change over time. If Rudy Giuliani died in 2002, he’d be remembered as ‘America’s Mayor’.

I was just thinking I haven’t heard of anything atrocious from Nestle in a few months. I’m glad they’re still out there proving they’re shit bags.

Where’s Goldilocks? SHOW ME THE GIRL!

“Don’t just stare at it, Sabrina. Eat it.”

“I see the problem, your AP is in the Faraday Chasity Cage. Closing ticket.”

But can I whip it into a cum meringue?