The meds help for sure but they haven’t quite made me a human being yet.

I keep telling myself my burnout (which lead to finding out I’m AuDHD) is because of menopause which I don’t think has actually started yet…so absolutely not looking forward to it actually happening.

I’m going to fill the tub with e gel and just live in it.

Solidarity comrade - the two wolves inside us are fighting each other 😅

Yes, hence the title.

I wanted to sit and sort some beads but I kept getting distracted.

I’ve heard people saying cocaine worked well for them, even though you mention it wasn’t great for you. I unknowingly self medicated with waaaay too much caffeine and ephedrine in university.

I’m way too scared of the toxic drug supply to try street drugs nowadays. I guess the war on drugs is winning against me lol? If I was going to try street drugs now I’d want to have access to drug testing kits.

Rice (rice cooker or microwaved from the fridge) + frozen vegetables + hummus/canned beans/edamame + fridge sauce such as chilli crisp, soy sauce, sambal oelek, etc.

Hummus + crackers

Big ol bowl of lettuce, store bought dressing, a fuck tonne of nuts.

Because they are military and some people do not like that.

Replying to my own comment to add that I am having a very AuDHD morning:

• Got up, took meds, make coffee
• Go to get some breakfast, I want edamame - in shell. None upstairs.
• Okay, check the chest freezer in the basement. Get lost looking in the freezer because there is a lot of interesting stuff in there. Get cold, remember what you are looking for, no dice.
• Go back upstairs thinking you’ll just have a bowl of veggie mix.
• No veggie mix upstairs. There were three bags downstairs. Stand paralyzed. Do I want to go back downstairs? Do I want to eat breakfast?
• Decide to combine the remnants of spicy fries and spicy tots in the air fryer.
• Sit on the couch and look at memes, your regular chats, etc. Get into some discussions. Forget about air fryer.
• Air fryer dings, go get food. It’s not right. Eat it anyways.
• Look at more memes. You haven’t scratched that itch for edamame, you can’t move on.
• Eat some kaju katli because that’s what you needed, more junk food.
• Chat some more, fall down some rabbit holes - oh look my coffee is cold
• Finish cold coffee, realize you could share this journey you’ve been on for the lols and also realize you’ve been trying to get to the garden for two hours and it’s already 29 C outside.
• Still haven’t had the satisfaction of some tasty, salty, vegetable edamame goodness and can’t.make.self.go.
• Realize all my socks are downstairs…game over.

One of us! One of us!

This might be a helpful link: https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/02/18/3691317.htm

Yes, it is still being formed. It’s a super slow process.

Hell yeah comrade!

Evernote is a deep hole where notes go to die.

But I also keep lists of interesting historical stuff that I can quickly access via my phone so I’ve got that going for me.

I’m medicated.

Such a good idea because you can reference it in the future if you are panicking because you can’t remember if you ever had an oil change???

I’m also grateful for the window sticker because it shames me every time I get in the driver’s seat.

Lists don’t really work for me - I guess I just have a series of systems.

Lost things - gone forever but I’ve got like 5 of everything, or it’s so important it lives is the same place all the time (keys, phone, wallet)

Tasks - Sometimes I’ll write something I need to remember to do at work before I leave on a post-it note, because I am almost certain to forget any task that I don’t do the minute I remember I have to…I only started making work plans once I started supervising and needed to be able to delegate work. I mostly get through on vibes with work tasks.

Devices to charge - everything is charging all the time, and I’ve got extra cables all over.

Shopping - you can buy the same thing every week if you eat the same thing every day 👉👉 If I want to make something special, I’ll make a list and hopefully remember it. But maybe it’ll get made next week…

Appointments - In my calendar, but regular appointments are regular on purpose.

Birthdays - yeah they are in my calendar and set to repeat.

List can help some people, I’m sure but they also require execution function to create and I don’t got much of that.

Cops don’t exist to protect you and they don’t have to be physically fit to serve their purpose: using the threat of violence and the prison industrial complex to protect the interests of capital.