So I am seeing this wholesome woman (+30 F) with silk-smooth skin, blonde hair and no excess fat whatsoever. And she is smarter then I can comprehend.
She would turn my head around once aware I wrote this post. Anyhow, I want to help her gain more confidence.
So, her skin on the lower legs is thin such that you can see her veins. She is ashamed for her blue Ones.
She told me her struggle. She shows me her veins. I feel for her awareness.
She got great legs. But she wears these legging-thingys even it is uncomfortably warm. I want her to feel the cold wind on a hill when we get around some place.
I am assuring her that this ain’t an issue for anyone. Meanwhile drawing them with my finger, wrongly on purpose.
Anyhow; I am trying to make her feel confident enough so that she doesn’t give af and just wear clothes appropriate for the trip & the weather.
Anyone got any advice for me or tips for her?
It doesn’t matter if it’s an issue “for anyone” it’s an issue to her, the person who matters, the person who owns the legs… being dismissive definitely won’t make her feel better. Don’t bring it up at all, give her compliments that don’t talk about her light skin at all.
Leave that pandora’s box alone. Tell her you don’t care but don’t press the issue. She’s probably already thinking about it enough. She could talk to a therapist or plastic surgeon but I’d leave that up to her.
Tights / Stockings.
Sorry I can’t contribute to the topic, but you should know that if she has varicose veins instead of just veins close to the skin’s surface, she should get them treated at some point
I don’t think you can really control how someone else feels about something. You can complement her, you can ask her to set her feelings aside, you can control your input to her emotional system, but you can’t control that her mom or an ex or an ad or whoever said something negative about it.
This might be something where you can negotiate. In certain places or whatever maybe she’ll agree to go with bare legs (maybe not!) and then in general she will cover them. But there isn’t really anything you can do to control her emotions—even in a positive way.
I guarantee you it’s not the only thing she self-conscious about. Just let her be who she is and love her for her. No need to try to change her. Doesn’t sound like she’s doing anything unhealthy with the stockings. There might be other things tho?
Just keep telling her she’s awesome. Don’t focus on the legs, just tell her all the things you love about her. And if she directly asks you about them, don’t make it a big deal. Just say “I don’t care, you’re beautiful.” For me the best thing my husband did was to counter the constant onslaught of beauty standards over media by telling me every day what he loves about me and how cool he thinks I am.
