Aaactually salmon can’t talk
That’s not true, I caught one the other day who promised to grant me wishes if I let it go. He wasn’t lying but the wishes eventually led to my downfall so now I have a hard time trusting anyone even partially aquatic.
Did his salmon friends rob your house while he distracted you with the wishes? Happened to me one time. Just wanna make sure it wasn’t the same salmon.
I thought it was bad enough when I got catfished by a salmon but you guys got me beat
A tale as old as time
Last time a fish tried to grant me a wish, I cut its head off, gut, filet, pan sear on med high till throughly cooked and seasoned with a side of fiddleheads. Wish granted.
I think, upon closer inspection, you’ll find that you were actually talking to a large mouth bass named Billy. Excellent singer too.
partially aquatic.
So, like, a mermaid?
I would definitely never trust a mermaid. Well maybe if they sang the right song.
You just don’t know where they stand
Wait is this like a classic story? It sounds oddly familiar
No, they just don’t want to talk to you.
Now I’m sad. Thanks.
You’re welcome!
Source?
You mean sauce? Cream sauce.
I am already annoyed at the ineveitble umm actually replies about salmon’s not being exactly the color salmon and humans not being the same color either. Pre-pissed
The bigger “Umm, actually” is that during spawning season, their outsides are that color.
And when it isn’t their spawning season, you’re not very likely to see them in the wild, so it kinda makes sense that people associated the colour with the fish.
Wow, TIL.
Achually it’s named after Salmon Rushdie and is the true colour of Satan’s flesh.
Yup. It doesn’t matter if a woman is black or white or whatever, they’re all pink on the inside where it matters. 😏 I’m talking about brains, of course.
Then why the heck we call them gray matter?
Brains ARE grey, they just hold a LOT of blood, making them look pinkish. But the neurons are grey.
The brain also has white matter (the axons) which is white due to a fatty layer.
I don’t know about you but I like my women alive.
Dead on the inside, alive on the outside. Wait, I think that’s me. My bad.
Different preservation methods, doncha know? Now sit right there as I tell you aaaaaall about why anything but formaldehyde is heresy…
Some species just evolved to taste better with cream cheese, we don’t make the rules…
D’y’know how many fish are “silvery-blue”, salmon?? Get over yourself, and be glad we didn’t name the color “sockeye pink”.
Human: “Uh… you’ve seen us with dogs, right?”
Salmon: “Yah.”
Human: “And we rub their bellies, you know?”
Salmon: “Okay.”
Human “Well you all turn pink on your bellies when you’re swimming upstream to have one last gasp of orgasmic explosion over all your future kids before dying and we try to stop you and slit open that belly to rip out your organs and pop your major blood vessel before cutting you into chunks and throwing you in a fire.”
Salmon: "… Just what the Fuuuu-
Hey, you should see what we did to Mr. Steckerlfisch over there.
“Why the long face?”
As my horny friend with 3 testicles says, “It’s all pink on the inside!”
If I had a nickel for every ET the Extra Testicle reference I have seen today…
That would be 2 nickels, more nickels than I have used as currency since I last watched “Still Smok’n”. Which is weird.
Humans: Shut up and eat more krill
It’s umm sockeye salmon colour.
If it ain’t pink on the inside you better run away fast as you can
Now let the shrimp ask a Frenchman the same question.
since when is salmon pink? it’s very obviously orange, tuna is pink.
Because the meat is pink. Seems simple to understand for anyone who’s been to the seafood counter at a grocery store
stabs you
hey, this guy is actually a salmon! I was wondering what smelled so bad over here
