There are a lot of different types of poly relationship structures and different names for them. The base unit of relationship is a standard couple where 2 people are together. Add another person in and they can either be in a relationship with only one of those people and form a “hinge” aka “V” or be in a relationship with both of those people and form a “triad” aka “throuple”. As many people as those involved consent to can be added this way.
Most of the time it’s one person who is in a relationship with multiple people who are each in relationships with multiple people. This forms a “polycule”. Where you have the people you’re in relationships with aka your “paramours” and they have the people they’re in relationships with aka your “metamours”. This group of relationships can take many forms and can be drawn out into a cool diagram like a molecule, hence the name polycule.
The people you’re in a relationship with can break up with you like in any other relationship and vice versa. It’s more complicated when you add in housing situations if you’re all living together, multiple people are all dating each other, or if two people are married.
Using one of my breakups as an example:
I’ve been in a triad where one person broke up with the other. I was then put in the middle of their breakup drama. I set a boundary of not wanting to deal with their drama/shit talking of the other. One of them kept breaking that boundary, so I broke up with that person while still being in a relationship with the other. Luckily I was living with the person I stayed with or that would’ve been way more complicated.
if only STI’s weren’t a thing, polycules would be great….
but, i’d rather be single than have to deal with pustules on my genitals for life….
….
i bet they’d all be cured by now if idiots didn’t see it as some divine retribution….
You know we can test for those things now, right? As long as everyone remains faithful to their partners its not an issue.
If 300 people all get tested and are clean, they can all get together every night for a massive orgy and there is zero STI risk. As long as none of them sleep with anyone outside of the group that hasn’t been tested.
they don’t test for every single disease… it’s not where i live, it’s medical technology….
show me a screening test that tests for every single SDI or STFU….
repeating yourself is pointless. gimme proof or i do not care about the words you’re typing on here.
show me… any country, any price, show me your comprehensive, 100% accurate screening of every possible STI… or even something close to that… i’ll hold my breath.
Yep, this is exactly it. Practice safe sex, get on PrEP for HIV prevention, talk about testing and status with any potential sexual partners in or out of the polycule, and get tested every 3-6 months.
yes because you can absolutely trust and guarantee safety amongst everyone in your polycule, and because you can totally be safe from STI’s that are transmitted by skin contact….
I am unsure if that is completely true as my past experience in the lifestyle was that everyone was very on top of regular STI (think you meant this not SDI) testing and safe sex practices to protect all involved, whereas normal dating there is a lot less of that plus secret polycules you are not even aware you are in (cheating). Not seen a study on this but this was my observation at least.
STI… but the problems with people cheating are present in polycules or any other relationship…
people lie and cheat….
i’m not saying they’re completely bad and nobody should ever do it (sorry downvoters, you have my blessings), it’s just the kind of thing that concerns me in these scenarios….
afaik, people tend to do things like get herpes, not tell anyone, and tell people it’s not even worth tripping over… just a lil herpes…
and as long as your polycule isn’t a closed loop, it’s essentially infinitely large….
i know. i used that exact example previously.
like i said before:
i’m not saying risky things aren’t worth doing. i’m saying this is not without risks.
“getting tested” doesn’t cover most STI’s unless you’re symptomatic… you can’t go to the doctor and say “test me for every STI”… that’s not an option.
HPV, Herpes, and many others are diseases for life. you can take medicine that makes most people asymptomatic for most of their life… but it’s not just fixed.
people on here are acting like you can just trust everyone you date, and everyone they date, and everyone those people date, and everyone those people date, out to infinity and it’s totally safe and fine and the only issue is skill in knowing who to trust…
or you can just make sure everybody “gets tested” but that’s not how getting tested works.
and many diseases are evolving resistance to current treatments… it’s a lot of risk that is worth considering before making an informed decision
it’s a lot of risk that is worth considering before making an informed decision
i would agree that there is some risk and it’s always worth being educated but stigma and FUD contribute to people not wanting to talk about sex
“getting tested” doesn’t cover most STI’s unless you’re symptomatic
patently untrue. a standard STI screen covers HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea
these are by far the most common STIs that’s cause anyone issues without other complications, and tests accurately catch them within weeks. standard public health advice is STI tests every 3mo for sexually active individuals (and in fact if you’re on PrEP to cover you against HIV, you get a 3 month script so it’s pretty much ensured)
HPV, Herpes, and many others are diseases for life
the HPV vaccine is very effective, herpes i’d agree with but causes minimal issues for the enormous majority of people without complications, and i don’t know what you mean by “many other”. if you can list them, id be happy to engage but otherwise the rest of that is more FUD
skill in knowing who to trust…
nope not at all! it’s public health. it has very little to do with trust, other than trying to limit as much as possible to people who know that telling their sexual partners when they get a positive test result is a healthy thing to do, and they won’t be berated for it… the main thing here is that you should feel confident that your sexual partners are going to tell you ASAP when you’ve been exposed, and that more than anything reduces that 3mo timeline and keeps everyone safe… but that only happens when people don’t stigmatise and fear the outcome
… i guess it also helps that here in australia STI tests are free and treatments all cost a couple of $
or you can just make sure everybody “gets tested” but that’s not how getting tested works.
as i’ve stated previously, it is with PrEP and with gay men - i don’t know much about the heterosexual community, but we have very active sexual health campaigns and they work
There are a lot of different types of poly relationship structures and different names for them. The base unit of relationship is a standard couple where 2 people are together. Add another person in and they can either be in a relationship with only one of those people and form a “hinge” aka “V” or be in a relationship with both of those people and form a “triad” aka “throuple”. As many people as those involved consent to can be added this way.
Most of the time it’s one person who is in a relationship with multiple people who are each in relationships with multiple people. This forms a “polycule”. Where you have the people you’re in relationships with aka your “paramours” and they have the people they’re in relationships with aka your “metamours”. This group of relationships can take many forms and can be drawn out into a cool diagram like a molecule, hence the name polycule.
The people you’re in a relationship with can break up with you like in any other relationship and vice versa. It’s more complicated when you add in housing situations if you’re all living together, multiple people are all dating each other, or if two people are married.
Using one of my breakups as an example:
I’ve been in a triad where one person broke up with the other. I was then put in the middle of their breakup drama. I set a boundary of not wanting to deal with their drama/shit talking of the other. One of them kept breaking that boundary, so I broke up with that person while still being in a relationship with the other. Luckily I was living with the person I stayed with or that would’ve been way more complicated.
Man I can’t even form a diatomic bond and y’all mfs getting polysaccharides and shit
I dated a free radical once. Nothing but broken bonds left in her wake.
I thought myself noble, a gas at social gatherings. But, always ended up alone. As if I had a shell that kept people out.
if only STI’s weren’t a thing, polycules would be great….
but, i’d rather be single than have to deal with pustules on my genitals for life….
….
i bet they’d all be cured by now if idiots didn’t see it as some divine retribution….
You know we can test for those things now, right? As long as everyone remains faithful to their partners its not an issue.
If 300 people all get tested and are clean, they can all get together every night for a massive orgy and there is zero STI risk. As long as none of them sleep with anyone outside of the group that hasn’t been tested.
you can’t just test for these things without symptoms.
most of these diseases have dormant phases and active phases… like a cold sore….
I don’t know how healthcare works where you live, but here you can. Its free, no questions asked. Get the results a couple of weeks later.
Must be nice in that small section of western Europe. For the rest of us things are not so blissful.
It works this way in the rural american southeast. Grew up in Alabama. Literally just find a college town.
they don’t test for every single disease… it’s not where i live, it’s medical technology….
show me a screening test that tests for every single SDI or STFU….
repeating yourself is pointless. gimme proof or i do not care about the words you’re typing on here.
show me… any country, any price, show me your comprehensive, 100% accurate screening of every possible STI… or even something close to that… i’ll hold my breath.
Er? You absolutely can do an STI screen without symptoms. Some of the most common STIs don’t even usually have symptoms.
not how that works, virgin
LOL. I know that’s how it works because I’ve done it several times.
lol, and how many STI’s does that screen test for? HIV and Hepatitis only?
Usually the screenings are pretty thorough. I’ve gotten one at least once a year (usually 6 months) for as long as I’ve been an adult.
Yeah, anyone practicing safely can avoid that issue.
Yep, this is exactly it. Practice safe sex, get on PrEP for HIV prevention, talk about testing and status with any potential sexual partners in or out of the polycule, and get tested every 3-6 months.
yes because you can absolutely trust and guarantee safety amongst everyone in your polycule, and because you can totally be safe from STI’s that are transmitted by skin contact….
you can be safer, but not safe
Yeah it’s better to just be alone forever. Isolation smisolation
nothing is completely safe… walking down the street isn’t completely safe….
acknowledging risks isn’t the same as saying don’t take any risks….
chump.
Lol. Obviously. You said polycules can’t be great, not me.
i said no such thing
STIs = a thing
Therefore, according to you,
Polycules =/= great
I am unsure if that is completely true as my past experience in the lifestyle was that everyone was very on top of regular STI (think you meant this not SDI) testing and safe sex practices to protect all involved, whereas normal dating there is a lot less of that plus secret polycules you are not even aware you are in (cheating). Not seen a study on this but this was my observation at least.
STI… but the problems with people cheating are present in polycules or any other relationship…
people lie and cheat….
i’m not saying they’re completely bad and nobody should ever do it (sorry downvoters, you have my blessings), it’s just the kind of thing that concerns me in these scenarios….
afaik, people tend to do things like get herpes, not tell anyone, and tell people it’s not even worth tripping over… just a lil herpes…
and as long as your polycule isn’t a closed loop, it’s essentially infinitely large….
STIs are all curable, treatable, or preventable
that is grossly oversimplifying things
would you like to elaborate?
because
and your “pustules on my genitals” is just complete FUD
none of that is 100%
and walking down the street isn’t 100% safe
i know. i used that exact example previously.
like i said before:
i’m not saying risky things aren’t worth doing. i’m saying this is not without risks.
“getting tested” doesn’t cover most STI’s unless you’re symptomatic… you can’t go to the doctor and say “test me for every STI”… that’s not an option.
HPV, Herpes, and many others are diseases for life. you can take medicine that makes most people asymptomatic for most of their life… but it’s not just fixed.
people on here are acting like you can just trust everyone you date, and everyone they date, and everyone those people date, and everyone those people date, out to infinity and it’s totally safe and fine and the only issue is skill in knowing who to trust…
or you can just make sure everybody “gets tested” but that’s not how getting tested works.
and many diseases are evolving resistance to current treatments… it’s a lot of risk that is worth considering before making an informed decision
i would agree that there is some risk and it’s always worth being educated but stigma and FUD contribute to people not wanting to talk about sex
patently untrue. a standard STI screen covers HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea
these are by far the most common STIs that’s cause anyone issues without other complications, and tests accurately catch them within weeks. standard public health advice is STI tests every 3mo for sexually active individuals (and in fact if you’re on PrEP to cover you against HIV, you get a 3 month script so it’s pretty much ensured)
the HPV vaccine is very effective, herpes i’d agree with but causes minimal issues for the enormous majority of people without complications, and i don’t know what you mean by “many other”. if you can list them, id be happy to engage but otherwise the rest of that is more FUD
nope not at all! it’s public health. it has very little to do with trust, other than trying to limit as much as possible to people who know that telling their sexual partners when they get a positive test result is a healthy thing to do, and they won’t be berated for it… the main thing here is that you should feel confident that your sexual partners are going to tell you ASAP when you’ve been exposed, and that more than anything reduces that 3mo timeline and keeps everyone safe… but that only happens when people don’t stigmatise and fear the outcome
… i guess it also helps that here in australia STI tests are free and treatments all cost a couple of $
as i’ve stated previously, it is with PrEP and with gay men - i don’t know much about the heterosexual community, but we have very active sexual health campaigns and they work
Watch out for those sexually dransmitted illnesses