An acquaintance of yours asks why you act so strangely around her. She seems a little hurt, and is worried you hate her or something. And the truth of the matter is that you have… well it wouldn’t be right to call it a crush, but you find her very beautiful and have been worried about making a fool of yourself. And it isn’t your intention to harass her or pursue her in any way, you’re not even looking for a relationship or anything right now, you’re just nervous around her for basically no reason, and she’s noticed and she wants to know if she’s done something to offend you.
What on earth is the correct thing to say?
I’d personally keep it generic. I guess something like “Sorry, I just get nervous when interacting with other people sometimes. You haven’t done anything wrong.”. Hopefully reassures her, but doesn’t make it awkward by bringing up any sexual feelings.
As a woman, I cannot stress enough how this is really the only sensible answer based on your post. As of writing this all the other comments are just objectively worse. Do not make either of you more uncomfortable than necessary and just do what this comment suggests. In general, unless you’re both interested in perusing things, no woman wants to hear about your sexual feelings towards them, even if just to say you’re not planning on acting on them.
Thank you for your valuable perspective. I was just thinking that I’d take it as a compliment, but then, I’m a guy.
This sounds ideal. Anything more specific suggesting unwanted attraction is just going to amplify the awkwardness.
“In all honesty, you’re just a very attractive woman and it kinda makes my brain short-circuit. I’m sorry if it’s made you uncomfortable, you’re lovely and you’ve done nothing wrong so please don’t worry about it! And I’ll try not to act weird around you. 😅”
And you take it from there, either platonically or romantically (I wrote this with the second path in mind and I pictured it as some 90s teen romance movie, NGL). 👍
Have you tried “You intimidate me”?
Disclaimer: this response is from a complete idiot
Most people find honesty disarming. If you say “I’m socially awkward and I feel nervous around you. It’s got nothing to do with you as a person. It’s an issue of mine and I’m trying to work on it. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel uncomfortable or otherwise upset you” she will probably accept that. And this is something you should be working on, BTW, although only you can really say what form that should take.
As some others have said, do not mention her looks or your crush.
No. It’s a stupid thing to say to anyone.
Why would you tell this to anyone? Stop being so weird and stop blaming her for your actions. Develop some pride and take responsibility. You choose to act how you act. It is nothing to do with her.
OP isn’t blaming her and if they could stop being socially awkward I’m sure they would have already. Save your tough love bullshit for the Joe Rogan subreddit.
There’s no good way to say 👉👈
Learn to interact with people without wanting something. Learn to interact with rich people without getting greedy. Learn to interact with powerful people without getting jealous. Learn to interact with hot girls without getting horny. Trust me, they all know what you want. The correct thing to say is nothing. Just stop being weird about it.
What in the world?? Get out of your head. You want to be intimate with her or not? You think she’s beautiful so you get nervous around because you don’t want a beautiful person to think poorly of you, or you don’t want to mess up chances of being intimate with them, or you are nervous about telling them you want to be intimate with them? Just tell them you get nervous around them and go from there. If it’s a work setting be very careful. If not, just say you think they’re beautiful and you get nervous. Then decide if that’s how you want to carry the relationship forward or make a move and see how they feel about you.
You want to be intimate with her or not?
No, not really. I’m asexual. I don’t want to do anything with her, I just think she looks nice. Being friends with her would be nice, I guess, but not if I’m going to make her uncomfortable.
