I’m gonna ramble a bit because I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking:
Emotional intelligence comes from understanding what you’re feeling, when, and why. A lot of people, particularly those who never introspect, skip this step, or maybe don’t even know how to do it.
A lot of therapy ultimately comes down to helping a person navigate the disagreements between the values they supposedly hold and the actions they actually take (or alternatively, the things that have happened to them). You can’t really navigate (I use “can’t” somewhat loosely) the dissonance between these two things without knowing what your mind (shame, frustration, jealousy) is telling you.
To intellectualize your feelings is to distance yourself from them by remaining cold and logical. So, it would be fine, naturally, if something traumatic happened, but it never actually made you feel angry. You could just mozy on with your life, I suppose. It would be another thing entirely if it did anger you greatly, and instead of processing that anger, you just went right to funeral scheduling or other busy work—stuff that solves the problem but not your problem, you know? This is the kind of thing that gets people to explode on Thanksgiving over their uncle not passing the salt fast enough or something.
I’m gonna ramble a bit because I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking:
Emotional intelligence comes from understanding what you’re feeling, when, and why. A lot of people, particularly those who never introspect, skip this step, or maybe don’t even know how to do it.
A lot of therapy ultimately comes down to helping a person navigate the disagreements between the values they supposedly hold and the actions they actually take (or alternatively, the things that have happened to them). You can’t really navigate (I use “can’t” somewhat loosely) the dissonance between these two things without knowing what your mind (shame, frustration, jealousy) is telling you.
To intellectualize your feelings is to distance yourself from them by remaining cold and logical. So, it would be fine, naturally, if something traumatic happened, but it never actually made you feel angry. You could just mozy on with your life, I suppose. It would be another thing entirely if it did anger you greatly, and instead of processing that anger, you just went right to funeral scheduling or other busy work—stuff that solves the problem but not your problem, you know? This is the kind of thing that gets people to explode on Thanksgiving over their uncle not passing the salt fast enough or something.