I try to be kind, upbeat, etc in my interactions with other people, especially at work. I want to treat others well, work together peacefully, and leave the project happy. I’ve noticed that some people (particularly more curmudgeonly folks) seem to read that attitude as naïveté, and feel like they can walk all over me or treat me like I don’t know what I’m talking about. Why is that?
I don’t know but sorry this is happening to you. Do not give up. It is certainly not naive, you can be most kind and firm with people, you can be kind and competent. You don’t need to be an asshole to get things done (I’m sure you have figured that out already) and I find that seeing the best in people works out better more of the time, anyway.