English but not in a Brexit way.

Successor account to WatTyler@lemmy.sdf.org.

  • 8 Posts
  • 66 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: December 11th, 2023

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  • WatTyler@lemmy.zipOPtoADHD@lemmy.world...
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    2 months ago

    Thanks. I appreciate you coming at this from a different perspective as some other respondents (not that I don’t appreciate them too).

    You’re absolutely right that I suppose I have found out we weren’t right for one another and in some cases yeah, it absolutely feels that way. Other times, just because of how it ended, it doesn’t feel resolved from my end but I suppose in a way, it has been.

    Interesting thing to consider. Thank you.


  • WatTyler@lemmy.zipOPtoADHD@lemmy.world...
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    2 months ago

    Thanks for the words of support. Genuinely happy things have gotten better for you. In many ways, they’ve also been getting better for me.

    In other replies I’ve approached why I want to ‘date’ rather than evolve but maybe it’s just a case of it’s yet another thing I can’t/shouldn’t do.


  • WatTyler@lemmy.zipOPtoADHD@lemmy.world...
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    2 months ago

    Cheers, the feeling’s mutual 😘

    I think my initial reaction to your comment was ‘well, NTs can want to be in relationships, and they can date and get upset the “normal” amount. I only want what they got.’

    And I’ve managed to come to terms with accepting I can’t have things “the NT way” before, so maybe that’s something I can explore.


  • WatTyler@lemmy.zipOPtoADHD@lemmy.world...
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    2 months ago

    Yeah, I see that. It’s just that I’ve finally found a career I enjoy and doesn’t make me actively suicidal. Downside is that it leaves me kind of time poor.

    I’ve dated a couple of women from work and it’s been mixed. Also before I found this job, I fell in-love in-limerance with a friend with a long-term boyfriend (now engaged) and the internal angst between wanting to be her friend, wanting to be a good person, and desperately wanting her relationship to end really led me to wanting to ‘date’ so at least I wasn’t getting invested in unavailable people.

    Sorry, don’t want to give the impression I’m completely disregarding you. I appreciate you contributing.


  • WatTyler@lemmy.zipOPtoADHD@lemmy.world...
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    2 months ago

    I’d certainly recommend therapy for that. Therapy has helped me move past quite a few ‘specific’ traumas. Regrettable habits like feeling suicidal at the drop of a hat have proven harder to break in the long term.

    This is probably shit advice but if you want to make friends you need to be in an environment where 1. you’re interacting with other people (ideally in a physical space) and 2. what you’re doing is making you happy somehow. If you’re not in the habit of either 1. or 2., I imagine that’s petrifying and sadly it’ll probably just require some perseverance.






  • Perhaps this is some sort of internalised ableism but I used to have this internal dialogue where I’d reflect on how difficult it was to do “boring” things and a straw man NT person would sarcastically imply that “it must be nice” to have an excuse to get out of “boring” tasks.

    Um, fucking no. If you think about it for like two seconds, you realise how much of being a happy, independent and healthy adult relies on being able to complete tasks that aren’t immediately captivating. Those tasks still need doing, I don’t want someone else to do them for me. You’re left with either waiting on when the ‘inspiration’ strikes you, having to improvise some game or arbitrary reward structure just to clean two dishes or you just rawdog your way through the task and you feel every second of the boredom and come out the other side feeling worse than when you started because no satisfaction from completing the task can pay-back the effort you put into completing it.

    That’s why ADHD adults burn-out. Without medication, every day you end with a ‘motivation deficit’ where no satisfaction from completing tasks can cover the costs of the determination and focus one spent to start those tasks. Eventually you just ‘default’ and you can’t do anything any more.

    Stimulants to me feel like a small loan on every task. It’s a fine balance but they actually let me come out of tasks semi-regularly with more energy/motivation than I started. And when you have a surplus, productivity begets productivity.









  • Sorry, my previous comment wasn’t very helpful. I still only have like 70hrs online play in Dota. I’m very new. I dislike hearing when I play badly but I know that I am playing badly but I’m trying to get better, so it doesn’t bother me.

    If I was actually somewhat good and I had people flaming me, it might bother me more. I kinda get that it sucks for people in Unranked queue when I play badly, so I just mute them and try to play better.



  • WatTyler@lemmy.zipOPtoMechanical Keyboards@lemmy.ml...
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    10 months ago

    Cheers. It was an odd one to figure out. At first I believed it was just the ports, then I believed it was just the switches. I couldn’t find anything wrong with the stems. Lubing didn’t change anything.

    Furthermore, one naturally assumes it’s something wrong with the North end, with the stem feet and the contact. 99% of the time, there’s no need to even look at the South end.